Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Bartering the self

We were on an obstacle course, nature vs man comes to mind. There were caves and bush and crappy suspension bridges across deep ravines. At one point, I realised I was trailing behind, and you are now nowhere in sight. You have left me. There are guides that egg us on to push through with the challenges ahead.

We come to a cliff-like area where any wrong move will cause you to plunge to your death in the fall below. The guide was acting sinister, not helping any of us, saying we ought to do it on our own. When I came past him, I saw that he had an ability to reach for a person and haul that person away to safety. I surrendered myself to my fear, and out of desire to get out of the situation and reach safety, I begged him to please, get me away. I would do anything, even allow him to have his way with me. Yes, I had sunk so low for survival.

Then I look at his face, and this grinning sinister of a man suddenly had the face of Hugh Grant. It was so strange to see him smiling, saying "Great, that sounds wonderful, I shall meet you by the airport in a few hours. And please don't be late." And I replied "All right, make sure I am back here promptly tomorrow morning as I have another appointment to meet."

Then I had woken up, wondering sheepishly if I did have a chance, would I let Hugh Grant, who several times had been in the media attention for lewd behaviour, take advantage of me?

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